darkforcerising | OPEN POST

He had to ask. And he could back off with that answer.

He held up his hands, a token for peace.

"Alright, I take your point," he said. "You can trust me when I say my love for my daughter is without limits."

But, putting everything Obi-Wan said together, and what he'd picked up over the years, he wondered if there was something of self-admonishment in Obi-Wan's rebuke. Not that he would ask about that right now.

Yes. Yes there was self-admonishment in his rebuke.

Not that he was going to elaborate right now.

"So. If you aren't going to grant one request - at least now - can you grant the other?" Moving on. With effort.

He shouldn't be this tired, and standing and talking to Bail he -

was trying not to compare the entire bloody rebellion to a slow motion Zigoola. That was dramatic. He wasn't inclined to drama. Why was he -

Oh, right. "...and maybe one other, much simpler, favor."

"I haven't refuse any request," it was Bail's turn to look offended, though not as much Obi-Wan had been, because Obi-Wan looked worse for wear. He'd argue he'd been within his rights to proceed cautiously and make an informed decision. But as he was now clearly consenting, he left the argument assumed, rather than spoken.

He reached out to Obi-Wan.

"Sit and tell me your final request so we can figure out how to grant them all."

"Oh."

Just that. Just... surprise and confusion because....

Well, because it was probably better to read silence as refusal rather than agreement, he supposed.

He looked around when Bail reached, not withdrawing but not seeing further touch, either, spotted the nearest chairs and moved toward them.

Paused and smiled, wryly. "The last is easy. Don't mention Zigoola to Anakin. He has no idea. My pride would like it to stay that way." Not really pride, actually just...

Anakin has enough shit in his head. Though that one... maybe it would make him feel less responsible for what had happened on that Destroyer?

"Obi-Wan, of course I will keep your confidence," Bail said reassuringly, taking a chair next to him. "He will not hear about Zigoola from me."

He paused long enough to let that reassurance sink in.

It did surprise him that Obi-Wan hadn't Anakin- whatever version of him. But he kept that shock to himself.

"But, my advice, as someone happily married, take it or don't, but it's better if you don't keep secrets from your partner."

He wasn't quite sure how to take it. The implication - that Bail realized there was a relationship there that he was comparing to his own marriage and therefor not simply the working sort of partners - was clear.

The problem was he had no idea how to feel about that. Guilty was how he should, and largely did, feel. On the other hand, there was no... condemnation there, and why would there be? Bail wasn't Jedi. His only issue, if there was one, would be with who Anakin was, not that there was... 'attachment' there.

And, truthfully, just then, not having to navigate around it was a relief.

Guilt (or shame?) and relief were a strange mix of emotions, that didn't reconcile well, but they were what he had and he was, finally, letting go of enough of his conditioning to at least weaken the... sense of shame around breaking rules of an Order that no longer existed.

"No, and it never worked very well when he was someone else either," he admitted, "though I wasn't the one keeping most of the secrets. He knows it happened. He's going to have to know just a bit more, but the last thing I want to do is have it turn into yet another thing he finds a way to blame himself for. Though... maybe I can use it to help him blame himself less. I don't know, but thank you." Sincere, that, because it had helped him think something through that he would not have managed on his own. "How is Breha, by the way? How are you?"

Edited (new words) 2020-03-13 06:19 (UTC)

Bail wasn't going to touch the blame issue. It made no sense to him that Anakin would blame himself for something he had no part in. But he at least understood the reason behind Obi-Wan telling Anakin, rather than himself.

"Breha is doing well. She wishes she could do more for the Rebellion." But, Bail didn't need to explain, Alderaan couldn't take a stand against the Empire yet. It was one planet compared to whole swaths of the galaxy.

"I'm as well as I can be." Did he have to explain how exhausting appearing to be a loyal senator while forming a rebellion against an empire was? Not to mention, husband, father, and friend.

"After you've rested, you can help me figure out how to smooth over your small theft." There was just enough to his tone to say he was not mad, maybe a bit impressed, but he certainly needed the help. "And tell me what you want to do with it."

He did not have to explain, though Obi-Wan did feel guilty for baldly asking this man to make some kind of arrangement so that he and Anakin could have a reprieve from strategy and fighting somewhere that wasn't Tatooine.

"I'm sorry. If there was a way I could end this sooner I would. You're carrying far more weight than any of us; you're carrying us." As for the ship, he had to shrug, slightly. "For now, likely leave it with the former prison ship. We'll see to get it manned to some degree, but I don't think there's a current active plan for it, beyond having irritated the daylights out of Vader." Which was important, dammit.

"That is a dangerous game, my friend," Bail said, shaking his head, but smiling all the same.

"Please be careful."

He smiled faintly in return. "It's all a dangerous game." He will be careful though, for some value of the word. "We should discuss arrangements - if you're up for providing those requests?" He still wasn't sure. Asking for personal things would have been harder, without Anakin being a factor - but asking somewhat for Anakin made it easier.

"Yes," Bail said. He wasn't fully comfortable with all of Obi-Wan's requests, he simply did not know Anakin as well as Obi-Wan did, but that didn't mean he wouldn't take a chance. So long as Obi-Wan was there.

"We have private property on Alderaan. I can assure that you'll be safe there."

"I don't want to impose, but given my relative lack of options and the fact that my reason for asking isn't simply just for myself... I am going to."

He was also going to be uncomfortable with it, because of course he was.

"Thank you, Bail. I'll try to limit how much additional work I create for you while we are here, and please send your wife my gratitude as well." This was a big ask - a big personal one. His gratitude was as sincere and deep as his relief.

"Obi-Wan," Bail tried to reassure his friend, though he suspected that he could never really do that.

"You will not be an imposition. I always have the option to return home and visit my wife and daughter." And Obi-Wan had Tatooine. And Anakin. But they were still on Tatooine which Bail was not too modest to say was a sad comparison to Alderaan.

"Not helping you would be very selfish of me. Let's go back to the Tantive and make these plans."

In truth, without Anakin-

Well, he'd told Anakin recently that he had been prepared - even happy - to spend what was left of his life sitting on Tatooine watching over Luke.

He just wanted more than that for Anakin (and to tear the empire down, now that he had the resources to do so).

So he nodded slightly and held a hand out to indicate that Bail should go first and then fell in just slightly behind and followed him to make those arrangements.

Once they were made, it was back to find Anakin, with some very sincere happiness, even a little excitement. He held his hand out to him. "Come with me."

Not straight to Leia, no, but that would come. First was the less important, but not unimportant 'surprise'.

It was refreshing to step off a ship ramp and onto grass and breathe crisp, clear air. Anakin was not reminded of Naboo, thankfully, even though there was a lakehouse and a lake. This place was quite different, colder, bluer, it felt different, he could even hear it in the sounds the birds made in the trees.

"If Luke ever finds out his sister got this and he was dropped on a trash planet," he said to his own amusement.

They made it to a path that lead up to the lakehouse.

"You don't have to drag me," he said, still amused. But he didn't let go of Obi-Wan's hand and readily followed him inside the building.

He'd wanted this for Anakin so much that he was almost caught off guard, even knowing that he needed a rest somewhere better than Tatooine, by how good the place felt to him.

He didn't feel anything like the only places that had ever come close to being 'home' (the Temple and Tatooine) - but there was something about the mountains, the water, the greenery and wildlife that soothed him.

He grinned a little wryly and slowed down so he was just walking with Anakin along the path toward the house. Inside it was bright, and light, and clean but not sterile. That felt pretty good, too.

"He's loved and safe. Though I do wish he was somewhere more pleasant." He couldn't think of anywhere to move him, though, so it was what it was. "We're going to stay here for a few days, barring emergency. I know we seem to be taking more and longer breaks, but this was... an opportunity I didn't want to let go."

Anakin figured that that was the case when the idyllic setting and building came into view.

He smiled at Obi-Wan and then took the lead searching for the bedroom because he just knew a place like this would have a bed worth giving up the rebellion for. It was in the second room he checked and now he was dragging Obi-Wan over to the bed and into as he turned and fell back against the extreme fluffy softness.

He moaned and that turned into a hum and a laugh as his body first protested like he was torturing it, but as it started recognizing this was 'good' it relaxed into the unbelievable comfort.

"I'm stealing the bed when we leave."

He wasn't sure what Anakin was looking for, just that he was searching for something.

Then Anakin found it and he very nearly laughed, himself. Of course. Anakin had mentioned getting Bail to procure 'decent' beds for them more than once. Watching him fall into it, groan and then relax was so... satisfying.

Hearing Anakin laugh, though, was even better.

He didn't fling himself into the bed or even fall into it, but moved to sit on the edge beside Anakin.

"I think he might let you take it, if you ask. Making stealing fairly unnecessary. Though I don't know where we'd put it...." It was a pretty big bed.

Anakin couldn't let Obi-Wan just sit there. He tugged at his arm to pull him down, too.

"We'll get rid of everything in the living room. Come down here."

He liked sitting there! It was a great angle for Anakin watching.

He let Anakin pull him down, anyway. Then sort of yelped when his back protested the lack of support and rolled immediately onto his side and... sighed with contentment and settled his hand on Anakin's chest.

"Fine, but no mechanical parts in the bed." Ever. Use the kitchen table.

Anakin rolled to his side as well and found Obi-Wan's mouth with his own. "Fair," he managed to say at one point, but the deal made, he didn't have anything further to say. He just wanted to enjoy this moment with Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan returned the kiss, warm and deep but incredibly lazily. It was probably not a surprise that in a stable, safe, location with a lot of life thrumming in the force around him and physically uncomfortable lack of sleep started to catch up with him.

He stopped himself from falling asleep, but not with a violent start, just -

"There's something you need to know before we sleep."

Anakin pulled back. "Alright." He had enough sense not to make a joke. He brushed Obi-Wan's hair back, following the curve of his ear. "What is it?"

He tilted his head slightly with the touch, because he was pretty comfortable and tired and moving with it was just... nice? easy? Both?

"That wasn't the first time I'd used the dark side; it wasn't your fault, in any respect."

Anakin was shocked to stillness by Obi-Wan's confession and the weird mix of emotions that came with it. He tried to hold as much of his emotions back because they weren't exactly relevant, they were an initial reaction. And Obi-Wan was trying to be open with him - which was a painfully rare occurrence.

"When?" he asked, moving his hand down to Obi-Wan's.

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