darkforcerising | OPEN POST

"Do you want me to pause the movie?" Anakin asked.

"...Only if you anticipate needing to explain something else before you've finished explaining this?"

"Goose, pause the movie."

Because yes, clowns needed an explanation.

"So clowns... are a weirdly paradoxical."

He had to think for a moment before coming up with an answer.

"They are supposed to be a fun thing. An actor puts on makeup that's meant to... diminish the details of the human face, but in a comical way. And they put on a ridiculous, colorful costume, and then perform for people in exaggerated, comic ways... Usually for kids... Weird, now that I think about it... Unfortunately, about half the people who experience clowns come away with an irrational fear of them- I guess it makes sense, the erasure of non-verbal communication cues can leave you feeling uncertain about their motives. Their performances can feel invasive because they often utilize the concept of crossing social boundaries as props for laughter. They're subversive in a way that is hard to process. And most people first experience them as young children, when they don't have the knowledge and language to verbalize why they don't like the clown."

He nodded, slightly. "They're creepy."

Which was a really overly simplistic summation, but he thought it was a pretty good summation. Though he wondered how people from that reality would respond to the number of entirely alien sentient beings that existed in this galaxy. Then again they weren't... subtly off, they just were what they were and known as their own thing.

"...and the laughter makes it worse." For him, anyway.

"I agree, though they don't bother me like they do other people." He thought it was best not to bring up Pennywise right now.

"Goose, continue the movie."

They were getting to a good part, on the Train of Thought, where the first hints of the concept that memories were more complex than one emotion were revealed in the memory of Riley's failure at the play-offs. Followed by Riley planning to run away.

He actually watched quietly not just through the Train of Thought and Riley planning to run away, but the collapse of Honesty Island and her leaving for school with her mother's credit-card.

All the way through to Joy getting into the recall tube without Sadness. Then smiled, faintly and if he was thinking about Anakin in a past life (for Anakin) or himself, then it wasn't too direct or apparent, but.

"That's going to end terribly."

Edited 2020-04-03 04:17 (UTC)

"This is the best and worst part of the whole movie... which, I guess, is kind of the point," Anakin said. He already might be misting up, knowing what Bingbong was going to sacrifice to make Riley whole again.

But first, Joy and Bingbong had to fall down into the pit. And Joy had to stop her panic and cry and slow down and obsess over the weight of their problem. And then realize the importance of Sadness in Riley's life.

He watched and he did not mist up or get teary eyed, because....

He'd gotten a lot of things out of this movie, but this specific thing? This he knew. This he maybe knew a little too well, even if he didn't want to.

Though he did sort of ache for the person Anakin was and had been once, because he remembered that bright, happy, optimistic, little boy all too clearly. That. That made him sad.

...Still wasn't going to cry.

Anakin could tell the emotions he could feel from Obi-Wan weren't entirely connected to the events of the movie, even if Anakin's feelings were about Bingbong's sacrifice. But that's what these movies like this were meant to do. In their simplicity they were relatable. They were like miniature exercises in experiencing intense emotions in a controlled way.

Anakin did shed a few tears for Bingbong, but got swept up in the next swell of the movie.

He was also kind of a little more than bit interested to see how Obi-Wan would process the image of the emotions console turning black. Because Anakin had felt that before - it was probably the best way to describe what it felt like on the Dark Side.

He probably should have associated the console turning dark with The Dark Side. It was his most recent experience, after all, and the metaphor (or just visual) was a good one.

Yet, because of where his mind had already been he was still thinking about... Mustafar and the events around it - or more accurately his absolute despair at that point and how Yoda had prodded him out of that, reminding him that despair also led to the dark side.

Then that feeling of ... emptiness. Of not really existing.

It was strange that he'd only thought of that now, really, or even realized that he'd still been in that state when Anakin had shown up in his living room. He didn't cry but he rubbed a hand over his face, though he wasn't crying, stroked Anakin's side with his thumb and both watched the movie and was a million miles away.

Anakin didn't need Obi-Wan to say anything, and he didn't need to say anything to him either.

It was beautiful just to watch the moment when Sadness and Joy made it back into the control tower - he hoped Obi-Wan saw the humor in Disgust using Anger as an effective tool.

And then Joy encouraged Sadness to fix the console, and Sadness does. And Joy gives Sadness the core memories to hold and change. Because that was the emotion Riley had been needed to feel most since the conflict of this movie started. So that Riley could cry and mourn the loss of the life she used to have with the help of her family.

The complexity of mingled emotions - the joy of what had once been, the sadness of the present circumstances - culminating in finding hope and reassurance for the future with the support of people you loved.

How could Anakin not like this movie?

The movie as a whole contained a lot of complexity, and a lot of things that were amusing, and touching and a nice lesson buried within it.

He quirked a faint smile.

"If there was still a Jedi Order, I'd be showing that three times a day until everyone had seen it. Particularly the children."

Of all the things Obi-Wan could say, Anakin wasn't expecting that.

After letting it sink in, he barked a laugh, and dropped a kiss on top of his head.

"You'd be in as much trouble with the Council as I always was."

He made a low noise, considering and with a hint of amusement buried in there. It wasn't quite a laugh but it wasn't too far off, really. Not to anyone who could also sense him in the Force.

"Not if I started with the Council." A pause. "If I started with children I would have been in more trouble than you and Qui-Gon combined."

"You could get maybe Master Koon and Master Tiin," Anakin conceded. "But I don't think you'd ever convince Master Yoda or Master Windu this is a better approach to teaching how to handle emotions." That was the most polite way Anakin could put that.

"Mm. Mace would have been easier than you think. Yoda, you're likely right about. At least before the entire thing went to hell and there wasn't an Order much less a Council at all." Yoda it was easier to be irritated by, somehow. Maybe just because Yoda wasn't dead yet. That Obi-Wan knew of.

"Maybe for you," Anakin said. "If I suggested it, Master Windu wouldn't even consider considering it."

Anakin dropped another kiss on Obi-Wan.

"I like Rebellious Obi-Wan." He was more than a little pleased that Obi-Wan liked the movie.

He tilted his head up enough to return the kiss, quick and light. "Mace was afraid of you, but Mace was... more and less aware than any of us at the same time. And you should like me rebellious. If I weren't...." He stopped and frowned. "Actually I don't know what."

"If you weren't," Anakin said, taking a moment to capture Obi-Wan's hand with his. "You wouldn't be blowing up the Empire with me."

He frowned faintly and tilted his head. "...But I might have been. It depends on how rebellious I wasn't. ...or maybe I mean on the Council being less agreeable. No amount of agreeable would have made me just leave you."

"I'm glad you're doing this with me." He started lacing their fingers. "I wouldn't be able to do it without you."

He rolled over a bit more into Anakin and wound up half draped across his chest, but he didn't let go of Anakin's hand. "Mm. But would you be here without me?"

Anakin welcomed the change in Obi-Wan's position, encouraged it, in fact. Obi-Wan was warm, and Anakin craved warmth like the Tatooine desert at night. And he craved touch more than he craved warmth.

"Here on Alderaan?" Anakin asked, deliberately obtuse. "Absolutely not."

Obi-Wan would probably never stop being a little standoffish and aloof by default, but relaxed enough, close enough, tangled up mentally with Anakin enough -

he'd do this and love it.

Even if he weren't also still just a little clingy (for him).

He stayed draped heavily across Anakin, but chin propped up a bit on Anakin's chest. "Why not? It's beautiful." A pause. "Do you know how to swim?" This Anakin, not the one who had died.

Aside from the obvious answer - Anakin wouldn't have been welcome on Alderaan without Obi-Wan's help. Anakin took Obi-Wan ridiculous question and ran with it.

"I do know how," he said. "I just haven't been interested in it in... well since I was a kid in Arizona- that's the state in the country- Okay, do you want to hear about the world I was on?"

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