darkforcerising | OPEN POST

Bail pauses for a moment, to let go of his puzzlement over Obi-Wan's hang-ups, and then asked, "Setting aside those other reasons for a moment, based on this idea you shouldn't be in a relationship with Anakin because you used the Dark Side-" was he phrasing that right? He didn't know the Force well enough to be sure, but he continued, "Why should Anakin be in a relationship with you? You said he'd lived all of Vader's life-" Also still weird, "So, shouldn't he also be excluded from having a relationship with you?"

"That's a deep philosophical question," he said, trying for light but actually a little uncomfortable. "Is what someone has done in a previous life grounds for any action or in action toward them in their current one? If you remember doing something you have never actually done, is that a thought crime or just unfortunate?"

"Obi-Wan, dare I say you're avoiding the intent of the question?" Bail asked, deadpan.

"Is that how he would explain it, or are you placing him on a pedestal?"

"I don't have an answer to the intent for the question but I can think of several reasons that he shouldn't have a relationship with me, without touching the question of the Dark Side - which I still don't have an answer for."

He paused a moment to answer the second question: "He'd explain it differently, but he hates himself."

"What are those several reasons you believe prove you shouldn't have a relationship with him?" Bail was still far from thinking stabbing Obi-Wan with a lightsaber to make him cooperate was the right course of action outside of Dark Side possession. But maybe a good shaking?

"Because if you assume that what he did in another life applies and is still who he is, then he's someone I knew from the time he was nine and someone that I chopped the limbs off and left on fire."

Just to be... blunt about it.

"Okay, yes," Bail agreed, "I see the complications with that. But you're both adults now- what does he say about that?"

"If we've discussed it, I haven't noticed it." Which wasn't the same as not having discussed it, exactly.

There was no surprise there on Bail's part. He crossed one arm over his chest and used this other hand to cover his face because he needed the extra veil of cover to hold in the witty retort. When he knew he wouldn't break his serene expression, he tried for more logic.

"You are both adults, his opinion matters just as much as yours. At some point, Obi-Wan, whatever flaws you have, you have to try looking at yourself through the value your partner sees in you."

That particular remark stopped him in his tracks.

That was the most reasonable, sensible, comprehensible thing anyone had said to him in --

well, quite a while and certainly ever said to him about relationships.

If he'd been a different sort of man he would have kissed Bail.

He literally stood stock still for a moment, mouth open because he got that. Was it easy to do? No. But he understood that and was so relieved that, in spite of everything....

He laughed.

If he hadn't, he might have cried from the same emotion:

Relief.

Oh, did something he say finally hit home? Bail was beginning to worry he'd lost his skill.

Bail smiled, dropping his hands and took up the more casual pose of holding them behind his back.

"Does this help solve some of your hesitations?"

"It does not make me any more confident, but it does mean I have some understanding which is progress and will help." It also meant he was less likely to argue with Anakin about being there, or so inclined to withdraw, if only by a bit. "Thank you."

"I'm glad I could help," Bail said, not mocking, but sincere.

"Do you want to continue on this path or turn back?"

"I would like to continue our walk. The time alone with Leia will be good for him and I will still try to need to clean up the mess I've made once I return."

Which - Okay was now his most pressing priority, but he was still somewhat tired and there was the whole darkside bit. "WHere's the nearest body of water?" It wasn't far, but getting to it-

"I think... that will be easier than you think," Bail said, just as content to continue walking.

"The lake wraps around just ahead."

"Ah, wonderful." He means that. He loves water - when it isn't falling out of the sky, anyway. "Do you use the lake for anything?"

"We have in the past," Bail said. "We have water vessels we can take out. Some of my cousins enjoy fishing, though it's not one of my past times. We haven't had time in a while, unfortunately."

He made a low, considering noise as he took in information about the nature and condition and the lake - and the nature and condition of Bail. "Can you swim?"

Bail laughed. "I can. Hardly anyone grows up on Alderaan and doesn't learn how to swim in their youth. But I haven't going swimming, recreationally since my youth... But... Maybe when Leia is old enough we will. Do you? Want to go swimming?"

Edited 2020-03-28 19:26 (UTC)

"Yes. The question is if I want to ask Anakin to bring Leia now so we can all enjoy the water and the weather." He'd take Anakin alone at some point regardless, and Bail needed as much of a break as he could possibly have, and also Anakin needed not to feel... excluded anymore by him.

Bail hesitated for a brief moment. "I think you should talk to him first, without me around. There will be another opportunity in the future for all of us to spend time at the lake." It was a confirmation that Bail was willing to do this again.

"Okay, but for now I'd also like to talk to him without Leia around, so why don't you go back and spend time with them both and I'll continue my walk for a while."

Because - well it seemed unfair to expose the baby to more emotional upheaval.

"Of course, take your time," Bail said with a kind smile. "You can either stay on this path and it will loop back to the lakehouse, or you can go back the way we came."

And with that he departed, hoping Obi-Wan was better off than when they'd started their walk. He liked to think his friend was.

He was better for his talk with Bail. He had learned some things that were important and would make the road forward from where he had been smoother - for him, and more importantly to him, for Anakin.

That wasn't to say smooth, but the important - see yourself through your partner's eyes - bit would also be sticking.

Meanwhile he had that to process, that he'd hurt Anakin and things he needed to say there to consider, and still all. the. absolute. shit. of having had to be saved from the dark by Anakin and the... shadows lurking around, it seemed, waiting for an opening.

So, he was better for time with Bail, grateful for his friendship but very much in need of a bit of time alone. He didn't meditate, but he did stop at the lake and sit for a while, watching the water and thinking (though not too deeply) and just breathing.

When he figured it had been 'long enough' he got up and walked forward along that path until he made his way back around the circle to the lake house.

Edited 2020-03-28 22:58 (UTC)

When Anakin had been left alone with Leia, he didn't know what he was supposed to do at first, still thinking he was blocked by social boundaries: he wasn't Leia's father, what could he even do?

But when it was clear that Obi-Wan, and he assumed Bail as well, were moving away from the lake house, Anakin opened up to the idea maybe he'd been given some time alone with Leia. She was still staring at him curiously, which was heartening for him. He scooped her up and put her in his lap and called his iPhone to him. He pulled up pictures of his time and earth and started explaining what he could about his life there. He couldn't tell Leia that he was one of her fathers or that Padme was one of her mothers. But he could still tell her things while he had her to himself.

***

Bail returned to the lake house and checked on Anakin and Leia. Part of him was anxious until he was able to see her again, and when he did, he inwardly scolded himself because seeing them together, Anakin holding a device for Leia to look at and touch, Leia watching the screen and reaching for it from time to time, he realized he didn't have anything to fear.

He quickly dispelled any notion he'd returned to take back Leia, yet, and excused himself to another part of the house to take care of senate business. From the window of the room he'd picked, he could see the paths that would bring Obi-Wan back to the lake house.

When he saw Obi-Wan emerge from the forest, he returned to Anakin and Leia and this time, though it was the first time he wasn't anxious about seeing Leia with Anakin, he told them it was time for Leia to leave.

Anakin stood and carried her to him and with a quiet, "Thank you," passed her over to him. He then turned and left the room, just as the front door was opening.

Bail went to say goodbye to Obi-Wan.

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