darkforcerising | OPEN POST

He actually has to admit some part of him would find shocking Bail fun but that probably they should just request another bed and let it be implied it was so someone could stop sleeping on the floor.

He listens to Anakin, enjoys the fingers on his chest and let's himself be reassured - until he's confused. "Do you want to be experiencing an existential crisis?"

"Hmm, deflection... I can't remember right now who taught me that." He traces his finger in small circles.

"You liked being in control.

What do you mean evasion, he is not evading he is -

evading like a crazy thing and all but mentally flinching away from this entire discussion with the depth of his discomfort with the subject matter.

Fortunately he likes Anakin and ultimately just sighs, heavily.

"Yes, I did and if you are fine so am I."

Anakin reached out with the Force and threaded himself with Obi-Wan's presence.

"Have you always liked being in control and I've just missed the cues, or is this new?"

The feeling of Anakin's presence threading through and tangling in his own made Obi-Wan groan.

"...In sex? It's new." Since, you know, sex was. He was cautious now, but only because he was paranoid and now afraid Anakin was... afraid of him. Since he was having his own 'conflict' about it.

"Hmmm."

He made his touch unbearably soft as he brushed his fingers down Obi-Wan's chest.

"We should do it again, see what else you like... But we should pick out some safe-words first."

He couldn't decide if he loved that soft touch or if it itched. He reached up and brushed his fingers over Anakin's arm, and-

"Can I use them to get out of this conversation?" he asked, dryly.

He grabbed Obi-Wan's fingers and brought them to his mouth.

"No," he said, and pressed a kiss to Obi-Wan's fingers. "Because we are having a discussion about consent and comfort levels with what we do in sex." Another kiss. "And if you don't want to engage in that kind of conversation, then the only alternative is to not have sex."

That is reasonable. That is fair. That is completely logical and sensible. He still takes a moment in deciding whether he's willing to engage that deeply with a conversation about something he hasn't worked out in his own head, yet.

In the end, it's more that it's Anakin that it's sex that makes him sigh and say, "All right. We should try it again and we should have safe-words. Is that where we left off?"

Anakin waited for Obi-Wan to catch up, and then said, “Yes that is. What safe-words would work best for you?”

"...Is there a particular reason you foresee 'slow down' and 'stop' being words we use without meaning?" Because he wasn't sure he did in which case they might be the easiest.

"Yes," but tried not to sound like like he was scolding or condescending. Obi-Wan was new to this. "For example. The differences between 'Don't,' pause. 'Stop,' a command to stop doing something, and 'Don't stop,' a command to not stop doing something, is tonal and speed. Both things that go out the window when you're in the middle of sex. The idea is that the word is so incongruous with what you're doing that it takes everyone out of the moment to quickly stop and reassess everyone's needs."

He was tempted to believe if he heard 'don't' or 'stop' from Anakin he was going to stop anyway, but he was willing to entertain the notion that if something else was in place it wouldn't be as likely.

"Then tell me what works for you."

...Why would he need a safeword?

Anakin thought about a moment, and then he smiled mischievously. "Sand. Sand is my safe-word." Because there's absolutely no way he would ever ask for sand to be introduced into their sexual activity, and if sand was involved, he'd be crying about sand anyways. He couldn't see how this would go wrong.

He grimaces but also laughs. "Good choice." No, there was no potential way for that to in any way become relevant to sex for him, or to be a thing he'd be willing to do even if it was asked for. Not that he could imagine a scenario where Anakin would ask. That made it fairly ideal.

"Now you pick one," he said as he draped himself over Obi-Wan's body. "But you can take your time."

He hummed.

"Is there anything you want talk about specifically?"

He put a hand on the back of Anakin's neck and stroked his thumb along his throat just a little.

Then laughs. "I didn't want to talk about anything generally. I'm fine, Anakin. I'll come up with something. Maybe Maul." That carries levels of unpleasant connotations.

He'd never use it.

Or so he thought for now, anyway.

"No!" Anakin pushed himself back up to look Obi-Wan square in the face. "You will not bring Sith Lords or Sith adjacents into our sex life. I don't support that at all."

He stared pretty hard and narrowly avoided actually flinching at Anakin - not from fear or anything of the sort but just because he was already on edge.

"Okay. Glass."

Anakin took a deep breath to calm down and reassess. He pushed himself up to kneel and sit back on his ankles. He took Obi-Wan's hands.

"Obi-Wan, you're not saying something." Like they could be as enmeshed together in the Force and Anakin not catch something was going on. "Or something is bothering you."

He kissed those hands, because he loved those hands, and the rest of the man that was attached to those hands.

"But I can also tell you don't want to talk about it... Maybe you need some time. So... I'll be here when you figure it out, okay?"

"I'm not-" he began and then stopped, curling his fingers around Anakin's hands and sitting up just a little. "I'm not not saying anything," he said, quietly.

He was fumbling to explain but he wanted to explain.

"It isn't even that I don't want to talk about it, exactly, it's that I'm uncomfortable and I don't quite know why or how to articulate what I'm feeling. I certainly don't know what to do about it. It isn't because you've done anything wrong or that I'm unhappy with you or what we've done, though."

It is, the thing he can't articulate, his growing discomfort with who he is becoming and then this feeling like... an extension of that rather than an extension of himself. It is just an extension of himself, but it's... all tangled up and confused.

Anakin wasn't trying to hide his feelings for Obi-Wan, he just wasn't naming them because he was sure if he came right out and said it, it would scare him too much.

"Why are you uncomfortable around me? We get naked together all the time. I like putting your dick in my mouth and other places in my body. You throw me to the ground when we spar. I've cried in front of you when I've been happy and when I've been sad. I've told you secrets about the stuff in my head I've never told anyone else... So, why are you uncomfortable around me?"

He let go of one of Anakin's hands and lifted his own to curl around Anakin's jaw.

"Anakin, stop," he said, very softly and gently. "I am not uncomfortable with you." There was no effort to hide anything on Obi-Wan's end, either - the love was there, even if he hadn't even named it to himself, or recognized it. "I am uncomfortable with me. It isn't something you're doing or have done, or aren't doing or haven't done. I just have no... framework, anymore."

Okay, that was something Anakin could work with, it was a place to start. "Framework for what?"

He looked, and was, a little bewildered by the question. He wants to say 'everything', and that feels true, but taking it down even one more level: "Me." Identity.

He doesn't... need Anakin to fix it. He just wants Anakin to understand it. If he can understand it himself, it will be a bonus.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject