darkforcerising | OPEN POST

"Oh," Anakin said softly. And he looked down. He did not know that. He knew talking about Padme in any ways would be a cut to their emotions, he just didn't expect something this deep.

"I can change the pattern enough to make it a code, a hidden message that can reveal a way for her to contact us. Sabe is brilliant, she'll figure it out."

He paused, blinked a few times and then pressed on.

"With people in Scarif, Bail will know everything the Empire wants to keep secret. The non-Force related things."

He moved his hand on Anakin's, just a bit, to wrap his fingers around Anakin's wrist and squeeze firmly, but gently.

"She will figure it out and she should be willing to contact me, at least and she'll likely believe that I am who is leaving the message. Which means she will at least be concerned that there is something with Luke." Which would not go ignored.

He hoped they didn't get her killed.

He hoped they didn't get Bail killed.

"And Bail is a force in and of himself. With information more so."

Anakin moved his hand so that he caught Obi-Wan's fingers. He knew he wasn't alone. Obi-Wan wasn't alone either. And they were essentially gathering more and more people to make themselves not alone.

He picked up that hand and held it in both hands against his mouth. And now he was sort of staring off into the middle distance, because he didn't want to discuss the next topic, but it had to be done.

"Scarif done, check. Now Exegol."

That was an amazingly telling gesture. That it was telling of Anakin being willing to take some degree of comfort from him was nice.

That it was a prelude to something Anakin needed the comfort to talk about, less so.

"I'm here and listening," he said, simply and while watching Anakin. Not warily but with concern.

Exegol was difficult because dismantling an Empire was easy compared to dismantling a Sith stronghold. Especially one guarded by Palpatine.

“Exegol is the secret Sith planet the Jedi never found when they thought the’d wiped out the Sith a thousand years ago. It’s where they hid from the Jedi for so long. Palpatine uses it as a back up for Scarif, and Sith experiments. Back up bodies for transferring his consciousness if he loses the one he has now. It’s also his back up if the Empire fails. He has enough resources there to essentially create another galactic armada.

“To kill Palpatine, we have to destroy everything on Exegol.”

The good news was, that the news was horrible and horrifying enough that it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and that in turn meant destroying everything sounded like a perfectly good idea.

The bad news was: "While I was recovering and ... Anakin." Mind trip there, because this was not the same Anakin, for him, at all " and Ahsoka went to stop Grieveous at Bothawui, we received intelligence that sent Bail and I to Zigoola in search of a Holocron. I spent very nearly the entire time I was there hallucinating and being weakened by one artifact projecting the dark side." He has no idea how much of this Anakin ever knew to remember. It had been during a war and he'd still been trying to protect Anakin, more than talk to him honestly. It was a mistake, but it was made and he wasn't repeating it.

"I have no idea how to move forward in light of that."

Anakin came back when Obi-Wan spoke, watched him as he explained Zigoola. He remembered the battle ObiWan mentioned.

“My first solo command.”

And then something fell into place.

“We spoke after you’d returned. I had to update you about retrieving Artoo. I remember thinking you looked...” Anakin didn’t want to say ‘terrible,’ but... “Worse than you normally did while recuperating from something. I wanted to say something, but...” He’d just had to clean up bungling his first command by losing R2 and didn’t want to push things, Obi-Wan never listened to him (or anyone actually) about taking care of his health so he was picking his battles... it was war.

“I don’t know what to do about Exegol either. I keep thinking and thinking...” he trailed off. How was I ever suppose to fix all this on my own?

"I wasn't very good at listening." About his health he still wasn't. He stroked his thumb over the side of Anakin's hand. He may be fairly useless in going there and lighting a fire, but Anakin was not alone.

"Well. We could always let the Empire complete their planet destroying weapon...." And then use it. Then destroy it. You want the nuclear option? There it was.

"We could even help them."

Edited 2020-01-19 01:30 (UTC)

Anakin looked eyes with Obi-Wan. This was serious. He wasn’t objecting, the feelings he sent in the Force were ones of deep concern for the future - weighing the dangers of what was needed to be done against what they were fighting.

Letting a weapon like that exist... was no light decision.

Echoes of millions of people dying at once, and the feeling of not caring reverberated in his mind.

He knew Obi-Wan wasn’t being cavalier.

He closed his eyes and leaned into Obi-Wan’s hand.

“We don’t do this without Bail on board.”

He was a horrible solider, but a good General and a better strategist. However strange the dichotomy, all of those things were true.

He could feel the weight of Anakin's concern, and while he lacked the knowledge he shared those concerns. He was, not at all, being caviler, but this was... a sound option that could resolve two issues at once.

"Agreed, but is there a specific reason?" Because he just looped Bail in and this felt more... personal.

Anakin did not want to say it. But he said, “Yes.”

He didn’t want to say more but he said, “The weapon was used. On Alderaan.”

He didn't dissociate, he just got... not angry, but very resolved and even more determined.

He... dug in.

For two reasons: One, it was horrifying. Two, it was upsetting Anakin and, all right, Three: He had very little in the galaxy as it stood, that served as a touchstone. Bail was one of those things.

"Well, that isn't going to happen."

Anakin agreed that the Death Star could not be used on anything but Exegol.

“We have nineteen years,” Anakin said. Or less if they help it get made.

It was getting very warm inside. He stood up.

“I need to step outside.”

He let go of Anakin's hand, but he did not let go of concern. "Okay. If you want - or will accept - company, please let me know."

He was ... worried, but the weight of potential and weight of memory were very, very different. He wanted to help, but also knew that sometimes space was help - or as near to it as was possible.

“You can come with, I just want air,” Anakin said. “It’s a lot to think about.”

"It is."

It was. It was a lot to think about, and overwhelming and intimidating but it was also... impersonal, in many ways - for him. A problem, but not an immediate one, and one that had... a possibility of being resolved.

He stood up and walked around the table and put a hand on Anakin's back. "And much, much, more to remember."

For the second time that day, Anakin was grateful for an attribute of Tatooine. The freezing night air was clarifying.

After taking it in for a minute, he said, “I need... I think I need to talk about it. But if you don’t want to hear about it, I’ll... I won’t.”

"If I wasn't willing to listen, I wouldn't have wanted to come with you." Which is a bit more... reserved than the total truth. He'd come out hoping Anakin would talk to him.

The words had some reservation. That he kept his fingers just lightly on Anakin was not. Neither was the clear concern and desire to help, so very present in the force.

Part of Anakin held back because he didn’t want Obi-Wan to see him differently. Even after everything Obi-Wan already knew.

“I was there. It wasn’t my project and I didn’t give a shit about it. Tarkin and another military leader messed up plugging the leak about its existence and the flaw in the design, and that’s what I was there to deal with - their failure. Leia was part of the Rebels that stole the information. Because of her, Tarkin made Alderaan an example of what the weapon could do...

“I was there, but I didn’t care, and I didn’t stop it.”

He wrapped both arms around Anakin, though very loosely. He didn't want Anakin to feel confined right now.

He thought, too, about holding back. Because of the potential to make things difficult for Anakin, and less so for himself. In the end, though, he really was still himself and didn't.

"I miss Anakin." His Anakin, he means. "The longer this goes, the more angry I am at Vader, for what he is doing and what he has already done to you - but the more I understand. 19 years.... I'm very nearly glad for his sake that he felt nothing. For yours, the only thing I'm glad about is the opportunity to stop it and, I hope, help lighten those memories, if only a little."

Anakin pulled Obi-Wan in closer, tighter. He didn't need caution right now, though he understood why Obi-Wan did it. And funnily enough, Obi-Wan being Obi-Wan was soothing all in it own way.

"I'm sorry you lost him," he said. "I'm sorry Palpatine took him away from you. If I could bring him back for you, I would." And Anakin meant every word of it. Obi-Wan deserved so much more than this hut on a trash planet, everything he'd ever loved taken away from him.

"I'm not opposed to the plan, but it frightens me... I guess it should."

When Anakin showed him what he wanted - or rather, right now, needed - Obi-Wan responded. He wrapped his arms tighter around Anakin and held onto him with steady strength.

He snorted, almost delicately, and shook his head a bit. He wouldn't let Anakin, for a lot of reasons. It wasn't a place he wanted to go and-

"It should scare us both, but we have years. It is entirely possible that we will be able to find another solution, as we gather more resources. Having a plan is good. That doesn't mean we won't keep looking for another."

Anakin wanted another solution. Hoped one would present itself.

The cold was now finally getting to him. He held Obi-Wan tighter.

“Should probably go back inside, before Tatooine kills us.”

He kissed Anakin, warmly but largely chastely, and took him inside to bed, where they could be warm.

He fell asleep tangled up loosely with Anakin, feeling him breathe but with thoughts of planet destroying weapons and Sith Worlds and... Vader circling his mind, making a puzzle that he didn't have enough pieces to solve.

Whether it was those thoughts of the Force deciding to scream a warning at him, his sleep wasn't peaceful for long.

His dream had more vividness and more clarity than any dream should ever have.

Everything hurt - everything. His back was on fire, his head throbbed, his throat hurt, his vision swam, and every breath sent a shocking stab of pain through his chest, with a deeper ache underneath. It was the sort of all encompassing sickening agony that transcended even being called pain anymore.

His vision swam into focus and he watched with detached fascination as a drop of blood fell on dull gray deck plates. Just as he realized he was on his knees and registered the hum of an engine, somewhere, the second drop fell and landed on a highly reflective black boot and he heard the harsh rasp of a respirator.

He started to look up but then both arms were yanked up with invisible force, dislocating both shoulders and forcing his head down.

He heard the hiss of a lightsaber igniting, saw the glow of red, thought execution position quite coherently, felt the air displaced by the swing, the first crackle of energy and heat against his exposed neck-

And jolted awake in the dark, heart racing, panting for air and clinging to Anakin hard.

It was impossible to not feel the Force swelling around Obi-Wan, even from the haze of sleep. Images pierced through that fog, but it was the feelings that were the most vivid - dragging him awake - pain shooting down Obi-Wan’s head and spine, shoulders dislocating, searing pain at the back of Obi-Wan’s neck. But through all this, it felt like he, Anakin, was an observer from a great distance.

This wasn’t his dream - he was just caught in the swirl of the Force around Obi-Wan, the focal point.

With frantic urgency Anakin woke up a fraction of a second after Obi-Wan. He reached out immediately - with his left hand, having enough foresight, or force of habit to lead with the hand that was least Vader-like.

He didn’t have to think about it for long. He knew what had just happened. Force visions were the worst.

“Obi-Wan,” he said, voice only slow because of sleep. “I’m here. I’m here.”

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