darkforcerising | OPEN POST

Anakin knew he'd won before he felt the apology. But he took it, and wrapped it in appreciation with a bit of light humor and sent it back to Obi-Wan.

But he barked a laugh at Obi-Wan's final term. He shifted around so he could pull back and look at Obi-Wan straight on.

"I promise not to make that a challenge. And I hope you see that as a compromise on my part."

He grinned in a way that was actually a bit smug, in spite of the hour and cause they'd woken up and the nature of the discussion.

"I'd love to tell you to make it a challenge, but it's one where even winning would mean both of us losing." If he managed, they really really lost.

If he didn't Anakin lost.

Anakin smiled back, though it softened the longer the moment lasted. He did remember why they were talking about this, and why Obi-Wan woke up.

"I'm with you, Obi-Wan. Through all of this. I'm not going to leave you to deal with your visions on your own."

"Yes, yes, the mistake of the Jedi was allowing ourselves to be divided." He wasn't dismissive, he was grateful. He even got a hand in Anakin's hair and kissed him, slowly. "Though I'm still not sure there is any effective dealing with, I feel better."

"Do you want to sleep more or talk about Sith."

Not joking. He was awake. He'd agreed.

If Obi-Wan was going to insist on kissing him like that, it wasn't fair to then ask him to talk about Sith. Anakin was almost inclined to believe Obi-Wan had taken on the challenge of seeing if Anakin would break his promise.

"I'm glad you feel better."

He considered Obi-Wan's offer. And then he settled back down, his mouth not in range of any kisses.

"Just a bit, that will help with your vision."

The sound he made when Anakin settled out of range of being kissed was blatantly huffy and irritated.

But affectionately so, at least, and entirely about Anakin's failure to be distracted.

He refocused, though, and committed to the discussion. "All right." Explain. He was lost.

Okay, maybe not break his promise, but try to make him not talk about the topic altogether.

Anakin did his best to send the feeling of a deadpan stare at Obi-Wan.

"You're the focus of Vader's anger but you're not the actual source of it." That's where he started, part from memory part from how he knew their actions must have angered Palpatine - they'd started all this by killing his Grand Inquisitor - and he knew how Palpatine reacted to things not going his way.

"A Jedi Master-apprentice relationship is one that is mutually beneficial, with both participants working towards a common goal that benefits each individual in different ways. The apprentice learns about the Force and how to use the Light Side, the Master learns about how to keep another sentient alive and how to be disappointed when their apprentice does everything the opposite of what they said." The last part was a joke which he's sure Obi-Wan will appreciate. "But jokes aside, both parties are supposed to end up better for the experience."

He took a deep breath and let it out slow. He wasn't paralyzed by fear talking about this, just filled with a deep sadness.

"That is not how it works for Sith. The relationship is Master-subservient. One where, in spite of everything a Master does to their apprentice, the apprentice learns how to use the Dark Side of the Force. And this just continues until the apprentice grows in enough strength and figures out how to kill their Master. Or the Master discards their apprentice, usually by killing them, but not always." He paused. "Maul is an example of that. He failed on Naboo and Palpatine discarded him, he didn't need to put in the effort to get him back... he had other... options by then." Dooku, a random slave child he'd seen on a landing platform... "Maul is no longer Sith- but I wouldn't give him a hug."

He did his best to return the feeling of a deadpan look with one of a smirk.

Then he settled down and listened.

He didn't get too distracted by the joke. He didn't interrupt. He listened, and he listened intensely and with a quiet and absolutely steady focus.

"I'd ... understood some of that, I think." Not known, but had suspected the drift of, through hindsight and observation. Then he blinked a couple of times. Contemplating Naboo and Maul's actions there from another angle - he hadn't considered those events for a very long time.

He almost jumped ahead to the conclusion Anakin was likely to give him - not quite sure enough, though, and also slightly distracted by Maul and Sidious and political nonsense he hated.

If they weren't talking about Sith - a subject he was forbidden to make sexual - that 'smirk' would have earned Obi-Wan a fierce kiss, the kind that would lead to other things.

But Anakin had agreed to stay on topic.

"So Palpatine and Vader are stuck in this cycle of sabotaging each other while trying not to undo their own plans. Palpatine is better at it than Vader right now. Vader doesn't get how the dynamic works yet. Palpatine went from this supportive uncle figure to someone who now tortures him when he fails. Or when Palpatine's plans fail. Which is what we are doing, disrupting Palpatine's plans... But Vader thinks he needs Palpatine- his major focus after Padme died was getting her back and he thinks Palpatine will help him with that. He won't, but that's not the point. Vader doesn't get that yet.

"So he can't lash out at Palpatine, and just transfers all the blame to you."

He couldn't decide if he had too much compassion, or just a frightening and until now unexplored, capacity to hate.

Because he had thought he was done feeling bad - and guilty - for not just the man who became Vader, but certainly Vader himself. He certainly didn't think he could... was hate the word he wanted here, really? Was that even what he felt? He wasn't sure but he didn't know what was better ... hate Palpatine more.

Yet, here they were.

"There are worse places to transfer the blame." Though he is, strangely, relieved that there is... an intermediary, as it were. "And I believe this is the first time I thought we might actually manage to rescue Vader."

Anakin knew it was possible but...

"That would be... difficult." For some reason, hearing Obi-Wan say that made Anakin, but still sad. He knew he should figure that out more clearly. Maybe another time.

"Hate and anger just gets you stuck on the Dark Side more. And Palpatine is doing everything to keep Vader angry so he won't feel anything like remorse or guilt. Anything... When he got Vader from Mustafar, all the medical treatment he needed, all the cybernetic implants that were added, Palpatine made him stay awake without any anesthesia, just to make him more angry about needing the procedures. Vader doesn't separate what you did to him with what Palpatine did- does to him."

He knew that was not a mitigating reason to lesson Vader's culpability. It was just an explanation.

"It's not your fault he thinks this way. But that's the logic behind it."

"Oh no," he said, with the same tone and same... feeling he would have told Anakin that his math was wrong or that Tatooine had two suns. Something that was just indisputable fact, not... even guilt in play anymore, really, just recognition. "It is absolutely my fault."

It was his fault he'd been left vulnerable to Palpatine, his fault that he'd needed those procedures - and been alive for them - his fault that the trust wasn't there to come to him for help. Extended to the Jedi - of which he was a member of the Council of, and one of very few surviving it was utterly and entirely his doing.

There wasn't anything he could do about it, and he'd let go the emotional association (overall - right now, at least), but the fact of it remained.

"Whatever the eventual outcome for him, it will be better than what he's experiencing now." That... he had emotional response to. Mostly deep, aching, sadness.

They could not unbreak the past. Only re-examine it. And they both did that in spades.

"You- everyone, the Jedi, even Vader, failed mostly because of Palpatine. He's the one to blame the most... Maybe we should stop blaming ourselves for what Palpatine did to us?"

Sure, he could say that, but could they see it from that angle?

"The more we change the future that is your past, the more I find myself thinking of Qui-Gon, and one particular lesson I believed he tried -and failed, if I'm honest- to teach me. Life is neither fair no unfair, but rather simply is. It is up to us to make it so."

He pauses a moment, dragging his thumb over Anakin's cheekbone, slowly and with, no other word for it, a profound amount of tenderness.

"I do not, at least currently and I feel as though it may change with my next breath, feel personal responsibility for Vader's creation. I loathe Palpatine more than is good for me, but he's more symptom than disease, and he did not cause the fall of the Order. The Order fell under the weight of its own arrogance."

Another, briefer pause with his hand still on Anakin's face. Trying to remember what his point was and then finally just coming up, rather lamely and with less eloquence. "In the end, I don't think we really need to blame anyone. We only need to make things more fair."

He didn't need eloquence.

"I agree with you."

There was something different about a 'lecture' when you were on equal footing. It was a discussion, a sharing of ideas. Or maybe he was sure of the fact that if he had something to contribute, Obi-Wan would listen and not dismiss him. He remembered that being an undercurrent of his relationship with Obi-Wan in his previous life. He was never sure Obi-Wan would listen to him.

It's what brought them here now.

And now was different in so many ways.

"Can we stop talking about Sith now?"

He lifted his eyebrows at Anakin, just a little. "Can we stop talking now?" Especially about the Sith, because if Anakin had more to say? Something else they needed to discuss in the wake of that vision and in the warm dark and profound Quiet of the middle of a Tatooine night? He would stop, and he would listen.

If not, he'd do something else.

In response, Anakin leaned in and kissed Obi-Wan.

"Unless you have more you want to talk about- about your vision," he said. "We can get back to that distraction you tried before."

Sometimes the dichotomy of this life struck him. It felt as though he were as much two people as Anakin, only both of them still in the same skin. The man who handled the rebellion and plotting and tactics, who was still a Jedi General -

and then this.

He wondered how in the name of anything Anakin could want the second while seeing and remembering the first. Not because of guilt, per se, just the messy complication of it all.

He didn't think about it for long, and certainly not now.

It was probably just the slow cycle of healing in the midst of new trauma.

He snorted, soft and somehow elegant, but settled his hand around Anakin's jaw and kissed him. This time properly, slowly deepening the kiss and turning it gently, slowly, demanding.

It was because this was how it always was for him. Those memories could come up at any time, and he would always have to switch from them to something else in order to function.

They were discussing his memories in a safe way, Obi-Wan hadn't judged him after hearing all that. Anakin could set it all aside now and focus on Obi-Wan's mouth on his, their bodies next to each other-

Anakin wanted to change that: he rolled back and pulled Obi-Wan with him, preferring the bottom position right now.

There were many places between them that could be strained, tense, unpleasant. Places even now where communication was hard, or just didn't happen.

...This wasn't one of them.

Anakin tugged, and Obi-Wan went with him, settling on top of Anakin without the faintest hint of resistance. Settled like he'd been made to be there. Some weight caught on his elbows, one thigh between Anakin's. The kiss didn't even falter on his end, just deepened further with a slow roll of his hips.

Anakin wouldn't have thought Obi-Wan would be this... casual wasn't the word. He certainly approached every sexual moment with purpose. Into it?

Not that Anakin was complaining.

Anakin met the roll of Obi-Wan's hips with his own, after the second thrust he was fully aroused. He dragged a feather light finger down Obi-Wan's spine, he could count scars if he wanted. His other hand traveled low, slipping below the waist of Obi-Wan's pants.

Flexible might be the word Anakin wanted - or even pliant. Maybe just responsiveness and acceptance turned toward a mutually enjoyable activity.

Maybe there just wasn't a word or even string of them.

Either way, Anakin wanted him on top and made it clear and it was a desire he was very happy to meet. Once he had Anakin fully hard against him, could feel the heat and line of Anakin's cock he shifted just a little so his thigh was flexed against that hardness. He arched lightly toward the finger tracing down his spine, breath catching for a moment.

Odd. Scar tissue wasn't particularly sensitive but something about the mental image of Anakin's fingers trailing across those white lines really did something for him.

He pulled away from the kiss to breathe, and so he could hip at the line of Anakin's jaw and throat, still slowly. Turned on? Incredibly. Feeling at all urgent? No. They had at least until the suns rose.

And those suns were hours away.

Sensing Obi-Wan's response to the touch against his scars, Anakin switched tactics. He found each of the scars on Obi-Wan's back and traced them, touch as light as before, but his pace was slow.

It was nice, just taking their time. Touching and being touched.

"I can barely even feel that, and it's still the most erotic thing I have ever experienced," he murmured, around leaving faint, pink, marks that would fade on Anakin's throat and collarbone, then downward.

He was not, however, headed for Anakin's cock - downward, but much more slowly and with much more attention to just skin, muscle, and bone.

If he thought about it, he would realize that was a fairly low bar. He was, however, currently preoccupied.

"I can tell." Anakin laughed in his throat. Smug - yes. It was so satisfying knowing he was the cause of that response.

"Harder- try leaving a mark," he said and exposed his neck for Obi-Wan to bite.

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