darkforcerising | OPEN POST

Anakin felt a pang of guilt. Try as he might, he still felt guilt for everything he’d done as Vader. He’d even tried to think that because Vader was an actual separate person then he could just lay all the blame on him. But the feeling remained.

“I think,” he said. “Now that we’ve found survivors, we can share missions with a few of them. We don’t have to carry this alone.”

He nods slightly and drags his thumb rhythmically back and forth across the Anakin's hand. "Yes. We need to bring in non-combatants, too. Bail can only do so much. I think he'll have to do that recruiting, himself, though."

...there he was. Almost entirely.

Thank you, Anakin.

Edited (...I lost half of anakin's name and no) 2020-01-17 00:22 (UTC)

“Bail is very good at that. We can suggest it in your next message to him and Master Unduli. I can give you a list of known Jedi sympathizers and all the planets that eventually join the Rebellion. Not all of them will come at once, but he can start sooner this time.”

He still had Obi-Wan’s old crystal in his hand. It felt heavy with sadness.

“Can I save this for you?” Maybe someday Obi-Wan would want it back.

He hesitated briefly. The logical, truly selfless, thing would be to build them into a lightsaber for a Jedi who no longer had one.

New blade, new life, and there was no sense holding onto the old one.

The old one was gone. Feeling like he was... outright defiling what that blue blade had stood for was the reason for the change.

That pure, unblemished, Light but otherwise unaligned blade fit Anakin, perfectly. In his hands, it was beautiful.

For Obi-Wan it was... simply turning his lightsaber into a weapon. Not one that was neutral, but was the concrete representation of nothing - not the lack of representing anything, but actively, literally, representing nothing.

Guardian blue had, and would always, mean something. ...In some ways it meant everything.

So, after waffling, he nodded. "All right. Maybe think about seeing if there's a way to mount it to protect it. I suspect most of the survivors will end up with white blades, anyway."

Edited 2020-01-17 01:06 (UTC)

Anakin closed his fist around the crystal.

One side of his mouth turned up. “I like the idea of that. Very symbolic. Very visible rebellion against Palpatine’s empire.”

Killing Sith, taking crystals.

“I think...” he said after some thought. “I think we need missions that don’t... or don’t intentionally involve killing.” He knew Obi-Wan wasn’t falling to the Dark Side. But he was worried about how much Obi-Wan could take.

"A nice, bright, light against the dark." In a way blue or green could never be.

He still had Anakin's hand. He should probably let go so Anakin wasn't stuck on his knees forever, but he didn't let go just yet.

"I was thinking about that before you came in." Not about the killing or not in relation to what kind of damage it was or wasn't doing to him, but from a purely strategic point of view. "What we've been doing is important and necessary, but at some point, we're going to need to move from simply preventing damage to causing it. There's only so far defense will take us in this. We need to find an opening to exploit it."

Okay maybe not immediately or necessarily even soon, but it was something to think about. "...and I would not turn down a break in killing people if we can find a way to take one. I'm worried about you, too." Because he'd have to be in much worse shape than he already was - possibly actually dead - not to notice Anakin was worried.

Anakin didn't mind being on his knees, though he did prefer it more in other contexts. He didn't pull his hand away, it seemed to help Obi-Wan.

"To do that, I need to tell you about Exegol and Scariff. We need to make long term plans like Palpatine does. We can't just live mission to mission."

"Is that a warning that I need to be in a particular mental state that I am not currently in, or just that we should settle in for a debriefing?" He knew they needed longer term plans. That was part of the deal and he was...

Whatever else this was doing to him, whoever he was, he was decent at strategy and making things better - at all - was important for him.

"Yes," Anakin said honestly. "I know you can handle it. When we talk about it. But we don't have to talk about it right at this moment."

Anakin stood up, tugging Obi-Wan to come with him.

"Right now," he said. "I want to hold you." And fill all the patches of darkness that had opened up with as much light as he could.

He went easily with the tug, and had zero objects to either being held or the fairly obvious corollary of being held (and holding) in a bed.

He wove his fingers through Anakin's, just a little distracted, as he made his way back toward the cabin they used most.

"You're worry is starting to worry me," he admitted.

Just inside the cabin, Anakin let the door closed and then leaned back into it, pulling Obi-Wan close, pinning himself. He liked this.

"I'm worried about you," he said, a small smile. "Stop being so worry-able," it was a word he made up, on the spot, "And I will worry less... You weren't meant to be a killer- you're very good at it," it didn't frighten Anakin as much as it surprised him, "But you were meant to be... like a curator at a museum full of old things."

"No need to add insult to injury by being bad at it."

He kissed Anakin, slow and deep and slid his hands under Anakin's tunic at his waist and continued to push his hands upward against skin. He only broke the kiss when he needed to pull the tunic over Anakin's head.

"I can't even imagine what having to hack at people would do to me."

His speech is pretty slow, but there is no hesitation in his hands. Though he does toss the tunic onto the top of a small dresser rather than the floor.

Anakin fell into that kiss, warming quickly to Obi-Wan's touch. There was no resistance to the removal of his shirt.

"This is the best bedroom talk," he said, clearly sarcastic. "I don't know why I started it."

So he decided to switch things up. He noted Obi-Wan's aim and raised an eyebrow.

"Why do we bother getting dressed on the flight home?"

"The answer to that isn't better bedroom talk. Maybe we should save the moment by doing and worrying about conversation later."

He ducked his head to the side, and grabbed Anakin's earlobe in his teeth and flicked it with his tongue.

Obi-Wan's mistake was not giving Anakin's mouth something to do. So while he soaked in the pleasure of Obi-Wan's teeth, Anakin had the ability to say, "Mmm... Is it because you like making me go through the process of undressing you?"

His hands were doing their own exploring, but he decided to deviate from Obi-Wan's example. He slipped a hand down the back of Obi-Wan's pants, and found good purchase for his nails.

They've done this enough by now for Obi-Wan to be pretty damn confident in the act and with Anakin. He's also learned by now that he can absolutely use sex to claw himself back to life, when he doesn't have enough of... himself left to make anything else work.

He is also a perfectionist who's greatest skill is learning, and learning quickly.

So there's no real hesitation involved in this, right now.

"Other way around." Well, no, not really but he's going with it.

There is a sudden jolt of heat at Anakin's nails digging and heat of a palm against skin, and he ducks his head to the side and bites down on Anakin's neck. Still not going to draw blood, but that one might actually leave a bruise.

And it is absolutely a challenge, even if what's under that challenge is a much steadier, quieter, kind of desperation.

If Obi-Wan had wanted the immediate "Ah!" followed by the sharp intake of breath, he certainly got that from Anakin. Anakin tensed at the bite but then instantly relaxed into it.

He knew this flavor of foreplay, they have done this enough times by now that Anakin knew what was behind that bite and just what kind of sex this would be. He could tell the difference between Obi-Wan's playful sex, and the kind that seemed to be just about the only lifesaver Obi-Wan was clinging to. This was the latter.

Anakin changed tactics.

His hand cupped the back of Obi-Wan's neck and he unchastely claimed his mouth.

He took his hand out of the back of Obi-Wan's pants and moved it forward, finding the hard press of Obi-Wan cock and palming it through the fabric.

He rolled his hips and pressed into Anakin's hand, but he also went from biting Anakin's neck to gentling and pressing a kiss over the bite-mark.

He wasn't unaware that Anakin was perfectly aware of what Obi-Wan was doing, and trying to meet that need. That as much as the killing and everything that came before killed him. He was going to keep dying in inches until -

He closed his eyes tightly, swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

He pulled back to look at Anakin.

"Let's try you relaxing and enjoying this time." Soft, voice a little rough again, but arousal was still there. "I'm supposed to be experimenting."

Edited 2020-01-17 04:18 (UTC)

Anakin felt Obi-Wan slipping, which was the opposite of what he wanted. His desires didn't stem from obligation but from genuine affection. He wanted to help. Let me help.

He leaned his forehead against Obi-Wan's. "Only if you stay with me."

All he could see from this close were Anakin's eyes, and he was just fine with that.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He wrapped one hand around Anakin's upper right arm, palm pressed over the ruined and scarred tattoo, angled his head up and caught his mouth in a kiss that was all focus and intensity but stayed slow and showed absolutely no sign of stopping until one or both of them ran out of air.

His other hand got busy getting Anakin out of his trousers. Deft, confident, easy, with force assistance helping make it easier to do one handed.

He was still completely dressed and had every intention of staying that way.

Anakin was satisfied with this answer and submitted to that kiss, finding the rhythm Obi-Wan set and matching it. Anakin surrendered to him, not getting in the way of Obi-Wan’s mission to divest him of clothing. The rush of passion guiding purpose swept him away in his lack of resistance. He was hard before his pants hit the floor.

But passivity was a difficult bench for him to rest on. His own hands did their own exploring, carding through Obi-Wan’s hair and slipping under his shirt. He just made sure to stay out of Obi-Wan’s way.

If Anakin went entirely passive, Obi-Wan was going to have to work much, much harder to keep his promise than he wanted. Hands in his hair, it turned out, was an amazing way of grounding him and building a ... gentler, more controlled, kind of arousal in him.

...and the prosthetic hand in his hair did something very peculiar to his heart - something about mutual trust and intimacy - that he didn't want to take too long to look at right now.

"Keep doing that," he murmured, as he pulled away from the kiss and started slowly working his way down Anakin's throat, pausing at his collarbone and dragging his teeth over it. A tiny pause, slight smirk against skin and, "Please."

Then moving right along, hands sliding over Anakin's ribs as he settled down to his knees.

Anakin’s vocal answer was a curse in Huttese. Honestly, Obi-Wan’s Core world manners pooled desire in Anakin as much as the man’s teeth dragging across his collar bone did. And Anakin would not change Obi-Wan for the universe.

It had taken Anakin more that a few time at this with Obi-Wan to unhesitatingly touch him with his prosthetic hand. Trust came so easily with other things, but not so much with his hand. This was not Obi-Wan’s fault, but the countless, little, everyday encounters with people’s prejudices that had taught Anakin to be guarded when it came to his arm.

But this - Obi-Wan’s open acceptance - no, it wasn’t just that, Obi-Wan liked the feel of his hand, was aroused by Anakin’s show of trust. What that certainly caused was a soft, begging moan, and Anakin gently curling his fingers against Obi-Wan’s scalp. He poured gratitude into the Force for Obi-Wan to take as he pleased.

He dropped his chin and rolled his spine upward toward and into Anakin's hand, pupils visibly dilating with a soft, but deep, groan. The sensation was a turn on. The trust from Anakin was a turn on. Knowing damn well that in this position if Anakin wanted he could seriously injure him, but also knowing he wasn't going to was a turn on.

His hands settle on Anakin's hips, thumbs stroking slowly as he nips and licks his way down Anakin's stomach to his cock, where Obi-Wan doesn't even hesitate. Flick of his tongue over his head, then simply takes Anakin in.

Somewhere along there - focus on Anakin, arousal, even the weight and taste of Anakin in his mouth, his presence in the force finally, if slowly, starts to brighten again.

Fuck, sex with the Force was amazing. The positive feedback of trust, arousal, trust -

Anakin's breath hitched and his hips thrust forward once - he tried to control it, it was almost an involuntary reaction to the feeling of heat from Obi-Wan's mouth, the gentle caress of his tongue on the tip of his cock, and Fuck, the way that man's facial hair tickled him... everywhere. He pressed his ass and head against the door, arching his back and straining his neck to hold himself still while Obi-Wan's mouth moved over him.

Knowing what power he had in his metal hand simply because of its design and make, he focused on digging the nails of his other hand into the door while letting his metal hand gently play with Obi-Wan's hair.

That brightening light, he drank it in, letting Obi-Wan feel what that only was doing to him. Stay with me, and there Obi-Wan was, with him.

"Never-" he breathed. And then he interrupted himself to moan. "Never," he tried again, "shave off your beard."

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