"Everything bad I feel just feels like anger, doesn't matter what's happening. And there's so much of it. It feels almost like when I'd try to meditate, and got pushed to look deeper, and all there was was something large, frightening, that felt like it was going to explode on me." So how the kriff does he identify that?

"...I'm not going to be able to stay with the Jedi, am I?" Deep down, he knows it's not the right place for him, he's never fit, like someone trying to force the wrong size screw into a nut. He knows. He's said, more than once, he was going to leave. He had an out in Padmé. And yet, here he was.